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You never know what kind of new and exciting perspectives and creative explorations are going to grace your journey. The most obvious changes deliver messages that need to be heard and developed to push new alternatives to old information. When I decided to create a new program of recovery it was in the mindset to help people who voice indifference to what is available out there. The Signposts to Freedom-Totem of Change method of recovery will be a breath of fresh air and it's beginnings will be very similar to that of AA and NA. It all starts with two alcoholics or addicts meeting together and discussing the basics of the program and what it contains and provides to help an individual recover. It's relevance is what's important and my belief is that from its humble beginning it should reach a wide audience of the people in need.

Not long ago I went through something that I never imagined would take place. The thoughts and actions behind it were twisted, I was a full blown addict without any hope. The writing was always on the wall that the consequences would catch up and play out. I was just to sick and to absorbed for my own good. I really had no clue how to get clean to save my own life. The problem is I have my own family and as a direct result the collateral damage was devastating. I had an incident where I was removed from my household and my family was kept away from me for their safety. I was looked at like a liability and a burden and the law took it into their own hands to enforce my stay away orders. I became homeless and my run continued because I didn't see any reason why to stop because everything was destroyed. I really wanted to die and I tried but wasn't successful on that level. While I was gone life went on for the people I loved. They moved on in ways I'll never fully grasp or understand. The reality is, know one...

The book i wrote while i was incarcerated back in September 2017 was one of the hardest things i ever had to do for myself. It was an excavation of my soul and i had to dig so deep it almost fely suffocating. I damaged alot of lives by collateral damage. I did it without thinking of other people's feelings and it bothers me more than you could imagine. The Amazing Tragic is a story of hope and faith. It is also a story of pain and suffering. The yin-yang balact is the thread of the story. I don't want readers to judge to harshly although i know a bit is inevitable. The sbook is meant to help someone out there either affected or thinking of going further down that road. I feel honored to have been given a life at all, i have had many chances to turn the ship around, but i chose often to go into more uncharted waters. I want to thank my friends, my family, and God for saving my life and giving me a reason to live. It sure the hell ain't getting any better out there................

Never forget who you are, where you have been and what you have learned. The experiences, whether grim or wonderful all tell a certain story. In the world you will always find yourself one step ahead or behind of where you think you should be. Don't let the ego fool you into believing your are the fully realized human being above everyone else. One thing I have come to understand is that there is always going to be pain and sadness at varying degrees. Happiness and joy are the moments we truly live for and without them people become bitter. Love and loneliness, desperation and freedom, wisdom and ignorance.  Life and nature in a constant balancing act. I wonder sometimes if the road goes on forever. I like to think so, because of all the people we have lost so far in our journey. There is no map to your own destiny, you have ideas and hope it plays out to your favor in this world. We can respect and gain confidence in the blessings were afforded. I try not to take anything for granted, it's hard enough figuring out where to plant your feet and when to get out...

Life has not been easy sailing for me over these last two years. When your not paying mind to the store everything will disappear. Today isn't one i take for granted as once again my freedom is in jeopardy due to previous encounters with my alter ego extreme. My family helps make the transition easier and assures me that all will be well. Yet, here i am inside my thoughts praying that all costs i can leave this all behind. One more journey, another year spent, wondering how, when, and why i let it go again